And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it’s sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way but you’re older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.
These are the middle part of Pink Floyd’s Time from the Dark Side of The Moon album. If I’m allowed only three songs in this lifetime, this is one of them.
The quirky title: that’s because I’m not going to write a real post yet right now; and this one doesn’t count as one. Not in my books, because I had wanted to write on something else – the period after I became addicted when I was in my teenage years.
I had planned to write at least twice every month at this blog. But I didn’t – not even once in the last six weeks.
Then I went to KelantanBloggers. It’s been months since I was there – during the Manek Urai by-elections to be exact. There was power at that directory. After looking at the 278 blogs carried by KelantanBloggers, something happened – I could feel it… I wanted to write. That’s why I’ve started up Windows Live Writer and hacking this.
Was I busy? Yes, very – I’ve just remembered that it’s now exactly 12 months since this state of being gainfully occupied. And I’ve been at it ever since.
There’s the bread-and-butter articles-writing, of course. This includes the writing/sub-editing job with an educational magazine. You might remember I had gotten it after attending the interview in Bukit Kiara, KL in November last year – something made possible by Sherry Nor-Jannah and Nazmi, who had persuaded me to go.
There’s also the book reviewing, which brings in a hundred ringgit or two a month. It comes with the added bonus and benefit of having books on a regular basis in my life. For this I’m truly grateful. I can’t imagine now how I had passed all those weeks, months and years without having access to books – something that most people here take for granted.
If you love reading, try to imagine this – not having anything new to read. That was the situation from 2000 to mid-2006… 6½ YEARS. There wasn’t any collection of `real’ books to reread either. I remember how in desperation I had read some pages of the Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary. Yes, I read a dictionary – this should give an indication of how deprived I was.
Occasionally, someone might ask me to do one-off editing, writing or translating work. So, most of the time I’d be right here, rooted to this very same spot. It does get lonely – I hope I’ll be able to get a television set here. It’s pretty boring looking at words almost all of the time. But at least I now have a mini-compo; thanks to you kind bloggers who were at Damansara last November. For the first time in 11 years, I now have a tolerable sound equipment.
The most important thing is that, for the first time since December 1999, I was/am legitimately working. This has been a critical factor in helping me and my children. For the first time in 11 years, I could support myself and my children. And I’m doing things that I like and choose; in a manner that I had dreamed of and planned since more than 10 years ago. I’m thankful to all those people who had helped me; including bloggers Mat Salo and Elviza.
Now, I’m trying to consolidate what I have. At the same time, I hope to launch new things… and try bring to reality new dreams.
Recovery from Drug Addiction 