Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati

This is supposed to be the fourth and last part of the “KL Rocks!” series after the last interlude. However, I’m going to post this totally unrelated piece which many will be puzzled with. Please forgive me for this indulgence, but it’s something that’s heavily on my mind right now.

And since this is a “personal” blog, and I don’t have to answer to any editor or newspaper for writing whatever that comes out here… :-)

It’s something that I had finally realised last night – of something missing in my life … MUSIC.

Yes, I’ve essentially been without that for almost two years. Ever since I was discharged on 18 December 2006, I have been living without music. And one of the reasons for that is because I don’t have the equipment. Yes, I do have a hand-me-down cheapo Pensonic – the one-tinny-speaker kind that I rarely switch on due to the atrocious sound. I’ve been using it to hear the news on occasions; or for “some sound” when it gets unbearably “kesit” (silent and lonely) here.

A series of events the past 24 hours has combined to lead me to this realisation – I need to have the music in my life again.

It had started with Kak Teh’s post Yesterday Once More. Then there were those chats on Yahoo Messenger with a very good friend in Setiawangsa, and with Nazmi and Sherry Nor-Jane in Kuantan (it was Sherry doing the typing, but with everything else too, the other half who is usually more reserved is also involved).

As I was about to shutdown (it was 2 am), I turned on the tinny radio and tuned in to Sinar FM. Usually, I’d listen to Suria FM – had become a fan since its COO Engku Emran (Erra Fazira’s husband) had started a blog. However, I couldn’t find it; so it was to my second favourite station. And it was here that I heard this haunting song again, with these stirring lines:

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi,
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati,
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir,
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

inginMati_wahaza50

I had known only a few lines – those four. A search quickly turned up a few interesting results; including the full lyrics AND a YouTube video of the song at a blog named Wahaza Extra. Usually I wouldn’t even attempt to download something like this – not with my puny 53Kbps GPRS connection. However, I just have to listen to it again! And guess what – I managed to get EDGE at 128Kbps; so the download took a reasonable 13 minutes. If I can get this speed regularly, I won’t have to think about Streamyx anymore:-)

Well, I have been listening to this song over and over; paying special attention to those four lines above. The full lyrics are as follows:

cat_laptop240

HANYA KAU YANG MAMPU (Aizat)

Ku cuba redakan relung hati,
Bayangmu yang berlalu pergi,
Terlukis di dalam kenangan,
Bebas bermain di hatiku..

Cerita tentang masa lalu,
Cerita tentang kau dan aku,
Kini tinggal hanya kenangan,
Kau abadi di dalam hatiku..

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi,
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati,
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir,
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Cerita tentang masa lalu,
Cerita tentang kau dan aku,
Kini tinggal hanya kenangan,
Kau abadi di dalam hatiku..

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi,
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati,
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir,
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Aku cinta ooohhh..
Aku cinta ooohhhh

Well, Thanks for reading this post. The next one will definitely be the last part about the KL trip. Unless if “something more important” comes up:-)

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