Life is about choices

“Life is about choices. You can be negative or positive, its up to you.

We can always view things in various perspective. My way of seeing thing may not be the same as yours. My School Of Tots is my inner feeling straight from my heart with a little help from my brain and my little fingers”.

The first two sentences at School of Tots are strikingly profound and accurate, despite their simplicity and brevity. And just ignore the slight grammatical errors in the above, for it is the message that is of supreme value here.

Starting my own weblog has been worthwhile indeed. If anything, I keep coming across people who have a lot of wisdom to offer. And this previously unknown (at least to me) blog has been a timely find too. You see, I was in need of some “spiritual vitamins” – words of wisdom that make certain things crystal-clear. Turning up at “School of Tots” yesterday, in reply to his invitation here, was the best event of the day for me.

I had first thought that Hisham was an “Ustaz” (religious teacher). That was based on a quick look of the posts’ titles, and in reading a couple of them.   But this 44-year-old `Ustaz’, besides having a link to NasyidFM is also a fan of … Sweet Charity, Alleycats, Search, Van Halen and BB King… Read the “interview by The Star” at the “My ADUN link” post.

Hisham is actually a product manager with an IT company. But for me, he’s also an Ustaz – and an excellent one with articles that cut in deep with me.

BTW, one doesn’t have to be a Muslim when it comes to reading most of the posts here for they are more towards the spiritual and stressing on universal values. Take “Adat Berjiran” (Way of Being Neighbours) on August 10 for example.

Insyaallah, I’ll be back tomorrow and add more about “Life is About Choices”, and other aspects concerning me, recovery from addiction etc.

By the way, this post is done with Windows Live Writer. I became aware of its features after reading an interesting post about it by the Borneo Blues of Mat Salo: Windows Live Writer – Pretty cool, this – at one of his three sites. His blog and `the other one’ are here:

mat salos IMG_1247 mat_salo img-3627-thumb

[Continued Tues Sept 9, from 4.15am]

As with Hisham of “School of Tots”, Mat Salo has something to do with this particular post too. I had visited his sites and read many of the posts there – he’s quite a character! By the way, in my blog lists, I had taken care to use the “” link. That’s because I purposely do not want to include political stuff at this blog. That’s why even Rocky’s Bru, which was responsible for introducing 95% of the current readers to here, is also not included.

As I had mentioned in the reply to love-n-hate, I had done a comparison of myself with these two gentlemen to verify the truth of the post’s title … to remind and show to myself especially, where I had gone wrong when it comes to making my choices. And boy, did I get it!… as the page of Rebuilding a self and a life showed.

Remember that For every action, there is a reaction … “something” will happen when we do anything; which does not take into account whether we had planned it or not. But whatever, we will face the consequences of it, whether we like it or not.

As love-n-hate had mentioned, we sometimes have many choices in the various matters and situations that we deal with every day. Sometimes, there are just a few choices. But the fact is that, we always have a choice. Yes, “always”; at least one.

If you think about it closer, you’ll realise that there is no such thing as “I didn’t have a choice!”… Even when someone forces or threatens you! Like going to work today: you may say that you don’t have a choice but must go even when you don’t want to.

You have  three choices here actually: (1) Go to work, although you reallly don’t want to (2) Be dishonest – call to say there’s `an emergency at home’  or that `you’re sick’ (3) Don’t care – just stay at home.

But for each of the choices that we make, there will be an accompanying consequence. Number 3 will make your boss and colleagues dislike you very much. For one thing, your pay will be deducted; you’ll have less money than you might otherwise have. Keep repeating this and soon you’ll also be out of a job. Number 2 will add a layer of stain inside yourself; of being a liar. There will be consequences, one of which is gradual loss of respect for one’s self.

[To be continued. This is turning into a long essay :-) ]

***10 Sept 5PM: And at 10.30PM last night, when I was just knocked out by a power blackout that lasted till 2 am, Elviza M. Kamal of Write Away had visited this humble site and left a message. I’m getting a bit distracted here and being star-struck:-) This is getting unwieldy and way off-topic … I’ll continue with what I had intended to do in the first place with a new Post – a “Part 2”. When? I don’t know, really.


20 thoughts on “Life is about choices

  1. Agree that life’s about choices… it’s about to choose what best for us that very particular time or moment… Some might prefer to have more than one solution to a problem or challenge… for me, I choose the best available option at that time… even though it doesn’t really fit the problem…

    **some issues may need more than one solution… it consist or more than 1 small solution…

    **people spoil because of too many choices… choose wisely!

    cendana287 8:05 PM reply:
    I’ve only started the introduction for this post, and your last phrase of “choose wisely“would have been the moral of this – you have taken the wind out of it! :-)

    But seriously, this was what that got me to start this post – of how the choices that we make will decide what our life will be like. I’ve compared my own life to that of these two gentlemen – Hisham and Mat Salo – who are a few years younger than I am. No, I don’t know them personally; just from things in their blogs. However, my conclusions (as I’ll write `later’) are generally accurate.

    Maybe we all will learn something that will help in making our own lives better … that “we’ll be the best person than we could.”

  2. salam…for the beginning saya prefer jadi ‘pemerhati’ aje. Sampai masa and ketika ,saya akan turut menulis…

    cendana287 8:05 PM reply:
    Thanks for coming. I just hope that you and others who are “pemerhati” will find this post – and other things here – worthwhile enough.

    BTW, for everyone’s information, you’ll discover soon enough that my weblog is more of a journal than a forum or discussion board. There are a lot of things in my self that need “to get out” in written form. There are two “Pages” where I had mentioned about this: in “Tribute to Rocky’s Bru” and “Why I started this weblog“.

    Many posts are “ongoing”. Like this one – I had started it earlier, and then posted it “even if it’s not finished yet”. I don’t have a “checklist”; with the main points stated and being built up on … and posting it when it’s finished. With this blog, I’ll write what `that something inside me’ wants me to…

  3. thanks for visiting my blog. also, welcome to the world of blogging. So, you must be another kelantanese blogger. You have interesting posting.. keep on posting my fren. I will add you as my blog buddy !

    cendana287 Sept 9, 1:30 AM reply:
    Thanks for adding me. I later saw that KelantanDotCom is also by you too. I like these two quotes at your site – of things that are also related and relevant to a blog like mine:

    People I Hate Most….
    1. When he speak.., he tell lies
    2. When he promised, he breaks it…. and
    3. When given trust, he betrayed it….

    Love Quote of the Day:
    Marriage should be a duet – when one sings, the other claps.

    Yes, I’m learning a lot here when I started this blog

  4. hi again…

    Everyone try to be better in life… and decision making in choices do counts… Some prefer to let their live as fated (…which actually they don’t!) and some try to change it as they have to pretend to be someone else…

    For me, ‘choose wisely’ is important… but at the same time… I’m not afraid to make mistakes… as mistakes I believe made me wiser… from time to time! As long as I didn’t repeat the same mistake… twice or forever…

    We care enough about what we choose… but in the end… we have to bare if the outcome doesn’t follow our direction…

    **go with the flow?? ya rite…

  5. Salam & Hello,

    I want to be your friend. Is that okay with you? :-)

    Can I link you to my blog? Thanks.

    The pleasure of extending this hand of friendship is all mine. Good day, Sir.

    p/s: and what lah Madsalo picture doing there? LOL

    cendana287 10 Sept 6:02 PM Reply:
    For this one, I’ll reply within the comment itself instead of using the Comments Box.

    Firstly, Thanks for even coming to see what this blog is all about. And what an honour it is to have others wanting to be a friend, even if it is through the limitations of the Internet.

    No, I’m definitely not putting less value to friendships formed over the Internet. And I have one such friend – American DavidR – whom I first knew through the Internet in early 1999. And this is someone who had always been there for me … someone who had never abandoned me when the chips were down. And we have never even met!

    I have to mention here that it was DavidR who was one of the most important people who had helped to make my stay at Pusat Serenti Gambang (from Oct 2005 to Dec 2006) a very pleasant and worthwhile stay – court-ordered and enforced though it was (you, as a lawyer, must surely know in detail about this Drug Dependants Act thing). And he has continued with this after I was released, with various kindness and thoughtful acts. This is one of the blessings that God has given to me – of having such a friend despite my unworthiness.

    Thanks, too, for wanting to link my site to yours – one with massive hits:-)

    About the great Mat Salo? Well, you’ll find out how he could have figured out in all of this; in a topic of “Life is about choices”.

    BTW I had linked one of my posts to one of yours yesterday – Sleepless in Setiawangsa … There was “something” about it that left an effect on me.

    My post was titled Lady M & Patria: Of what Was, the Now & the Future. “Relationship” is something that I was – and am – extremely weak in; and especially concerning “with that very important person” mentioned in the post. But I want to do something about it to make amends and make things right…

  6. Hello fellow Pasir Masian,
    I saw your comment at Zaharan’s site. That brought me here. Like you, I was prompted to continue blogging beyond the first blog by Rocky but due to ignorance I deleted my first blog together with his comment. Thanks to him I am a regular blogger now.
    Happy blogging.

  7. I’m taking to replying to comments by using this “Leave a Comment” box instead of directly inside the comment.

    I feel the former is better since it has continuity and puts things within perspective. However, it appears that some people have RSS my site – for posts and comments. So whenever I reply within a comment, it won’t RSS this as “something new”.

    As for my adding yet more things inside a post instead of starting a new post and alerting by RSS … well, I dunno. I’ll think about it; about how to “do things better”.

  8. @mohdzawi September 10, 2008

    I’ve started to lose my anonymity ever since my site was mentioned at Rocky’s Bru. And now I’m getting “zeroed in” – someone who is actually within a few minutes drive away! If I were to mention my name here, I think you’ll know me – my notoriety is such.

    Yes, it’s moments like this that I sometimes have doubts and worries as to whether it’s a good thing to start this weblog … whether I should just stay in the shadows as I had done previously.

    But I don’t want to hide anymore, and I hope it’s for the better.

    And I look at the example of ArahMan7 – the trailblazer for recovering drug addicts in Malaysia when it comes to “things Internet”. My Journey to Recovery is at

  9. @arep
    I was experimenting just now – I had changed the date on that post to see what happens. Previously, I noticed that whenever I add something to a post, the date remains the same.

    I wanted to see whether “Kelantan Bloggers” would update its list when I write a new post. IT DID! So I now know what to do – should I ever edit or add something to a present post, I must change the date to send an alert.

    Oh, and a Selamat Bersahur to you too, Arep.

  10. Hey Mat

    Taking cue from your reply to mohdzawi, I’m hoping you don’t mind that I’ve “further promoted” your blog on my site. Do come see, because I’ve nominated you for a blog award.

    Take care.

  11. If you folks are wondering what this is all about with the comment above from Su, well I went to find out about it myself.

    It’s here at (still can’t figure out how to do that “href” thing)

    Maybe I’ll get featured on TV3 or CNN. Actually, I’ll be happy if it comes with a coupon for one month free Internet access with Celcom Broadband :-)

    *ADDED COMMENT Sept 12:
    And thanks to su (Michelle Yoon) above, I have also learned how to put buttons at the sidebar. Previously, I was stumped by this. I had seen all those nice buttons at many sites and had wondered how to do this.

    I had started with Kelantan Bloggers a few days ago. Now this was easier because the code was supplied. I figured out that the code “must be pasted somewhere”; and correctly guessed that it was inside the “Text/HTML Box”.

    But creating my own code was another matter. Yes, `simple’ for many people… I knew it had something to do with “href”, “img” etc but had not bothered to find out more. And this precisely was the root of some of my problems – Not doing enough to learn.

    Thanks to Su, I was determined to overcome this particular handicap. The first few attempts failed – the image did not load. In fact, most of the code that I had written were deleted when I ran it. I was getting disheartened, and losing confidence in myself: “Why am I so dumb when others could do this easily? There must be something wrong with me”

    But I didn’t give up. And I’m proud of this, `small’ that it may be. I re-checked the whole procedure again, and thoroughly scrutinised the code. Then I saw the problem: Instead of typing “src”, mine was “scr”. I corrected that and … the button appeared!

    I feel so liberated and empowered upon learning this. Now I can add in all those buttons – those ideas and concepts that I support – to express and declare what I feel and what I wish for. I have so many things to say and declare, and I’m going to re-design this blog; maybe have three columns to accommodate everything(?). Among others, I’m looking at the Our Table site for ideas.

    Yes, this is what ilmu & pengetahuan does for us – liberation and empowerment. It’s almost one month since I started this blog and I must say that it has brought about significant changes to my daily life. And the most important of it is in coming into contact with you all.

  12. salaam mat,

    yes i agree 100% with u that life is about choice..two years ago i’ve made a bold decision to take the third choice to stay at home and be on my own. the immediate consequences were no job and no monthly income streaming into my bank account. tough at first though. but now i’m more happy than before because i got to see my children grow up,spend more time listening to latest songs with them, cook for them and establish good flow of communication with them and watch epl replays whenever i like. my wife on the other hand is relieved of some household chores(like cooking and marketing) that she’s been doing for the last 24 years since we got married. to tell you frankly mat, i’ve no regret and never look back since…the third choice taught me that money is not everything eventhough it helps to have some, just to make ends meet. cheers!

  13. salam …telling u the truth…my english is so lintang pukang..i really want to menyampuk sana sini and gives my own views or opinions and sharing my own vision and mission etc etc etc…but becos of that kelemahan…i prefer jadi pemerhati aje…please help me..

  14. @sherry-norjane

    Sebenarnya, kat blog ni, boleh guna apa-apa bahasa yang saudara-saudari nak guna dan rasa selesa.

    Jangan sesekali rasa inferior kalau kita tak boleh express sesuatu dalam Bahasa Inggeris yang sempurna. Adakah seseorang tu inferior atau superior semata-mata kerana BI-nya? Atau dia pandai Bahasa Arab dan boleh quote ayat-ayat Quran “on the fly”? Atau dia multi-lingual, sampai Bahasa Peranchis & Sepanyol pun dia pandai?

    Kalau gitu mudahlah kat Padang Mahsyar nanti: yang multi-lingual tu masuk syurga dulu. Tapi kat dunia ni pun kita boleh tengok: macam saya, boleh nulis dalam BI … tapi kehidupan hampir hancur-lebur; masuk lockup, jail, pusat.

    Semua (penguasaan bahasa) ni memang penting, sebab “ilmu”. Dan perlu digunakan untuk kebaikan, bukan untuk ego, nak nunjuk-nunjuk dan nak ngada-ngada.

    Memang sekarang ni di Malaysia BI dah nak jadi macam bahasa elitist – ni sebab dasar pendidikan yang saya kira SALAH, yang “nationalistic” tak kena tempat dan cara. Akibat dia, ramai orang sekarang tak fasih BI. Dan yang fasih tu jadi macam “elite”pulak.

    Orang-orang macam Mat Kodiang etc dan saya ada satu keuntungan: Kami belajar `dalam sistem dulu’. Itu aje. Oh, dan macam Elviza tu – dia duduk kat England, belajar sana. (Tapi semua ni kena `tambah’ dengan usaha kita; khususnya kena kerap membaca dalam sesuatu bahasa tu).

  15. Hi,

    Good of you to post at my place. I saw your posting from Rocky’s bru and thought your blog should be highlighted.

    Good on you to speak up on recovery and I believe there are still many out there that probably needs to reach out too. So, you’re an inspiration to many. Keep going!

    WordPress has a lot of info under their FAQ for using their blog platform. Also, are other sites that speaks specifically on blogging. A sample:

    If you’d like to get more info on blogging, just comment on my blog and I could probably do a short write-up.


    cendana287 11:07 PM Reply:
    Mike’s blog is called At Our Table. I have included this under “Miscellaneous” since I consider it to be more of a portal for Malaysia-centric blogs and sites, NOT a partisan political blog or encourage towards it; the few personal opinions considered.

  16. Had received this by e-mail from someone else who is rather shy:-)
    She in turn had received it from someone else. I feel it is related to this topic of “Life is about choices”, so I’m going to paste it here. It certainly is an extension of what Mat Kodiang wrote earlier.

    BTW, it look’s “Muslim/Islam-oriented”, but I feel the essence of it covers everyone, regardless of religion, concerning our “busy-ness” that results in our lack of spiritual strength:
    (Cut & Paste of e-mail follows:)

    (Read even if you’re busy)

    Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.
    In his opening address he said,
    ‘We can’t keep Muslims from going to Mosque.’
    ‘We can’t keep them from reading their Quran and knowing the truth.’
    ‘We can’t even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with
    their Allah and his messenger Muhammad.’
    ‘Once they gain that connection with Allah, our power
    over them is broken.’

    ‘So let them go to their Mosques; let them have their
    covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don’t
    have time to develop a relationship with Allah and his messenger

    ‘This is what I want you to do,’ said the devil:
    ‘Distract them from gaining hold of their Allah and
    maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!’
    ‘How shall we do this?’ his demons shouted.

    ‘Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable
    schemes to occupy their minds,’ he answered.

    ‘Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow.’

    ‘Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the
    husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can
    afford their empty lifestyles.’
    ‘Keep them from spending time with their children.’
    ‘As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape
    from the pressures of work!’

    ‘Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still,
    small voice.’
    ‘Entice them to play the radio or cassette player
    whenever they drive.’ ‘To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going
    constantly in their home and see to it that every store and
    restaurant in the world plays music constantly.’
    ‘This will jam their minds and break that union with Allah and his
    messenger Muhammad.’

    ‘Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers.’
    ‘Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day.’
    ‘Invade their driving moments with billboards.’
    ‘Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs,
    sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and
    promotional offering free products, services and false hopes.’

    ‘Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their
    husbands will believe that outward beauty is what’s important, and
    they’ll become dissatisfied with their wives. ‘

    ‘Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night.’
    Give them headaches too!
    ‘If they don’t give their husbands the love they need, they will
    begin to look elsewhere.’
    ‘That will fragment their families quickly!’

    ‘Give them story books to distract them from teaching their children
    the real meaning of Salat.’

    ‘Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on Allah’s
    creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays,
    concerts, and movies instead. ‘Keep them busy, busy, and busy!’

    ‘And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip
    and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences.’

    ‘Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to
    seek power from Allah.’
    ‘Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their
    health and family for the good of the cause.’

    ‘It will work!’ ‘It will work!’
    It was quite a plan!

    The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Muslims
    everywhere to get busier and more rushed, going here and there.
    Having little time for their Allah or their families.
    Having no time to tell others about the power of Allah and his
    messenger Muhammad to change lives.

    I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his
    You be the judge!!!!!

    Does ‘BUSY’ mean:

    Please pass this on, if you aren’t too BUSY!
    I don’t think I know 10 people who would admit they love Allah. Do
    You Love Him?

    IF YOU LOVE Allah, PASS THIS ON!!!!!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s